Water on the Pond

This is Brian, since I am not above crude humor I decided to share two stories from our life here at the Pond. I have found that all good stories begin with, "While I was standing at the toilet the other day". So let me begin, while I was standing at the toilet the other day doing my business, I don't know why it sounds better to say I was doing my business instead of just saying I was standing there peeing but now you know what I was doing and I digress. Since I was in the bathroom in our bedroom, I had left the door open as I am prone to do. Even if you are getting grossed out, stick with it, the story gets better. While I was "taking care of business" I noted that instead of one golden stream there was now two golden streams entering the toilet bowl. You can imagine my distress. Had I sprung a leak? Was it an optical illusion? None of the above. Erick, using the skills of a master ninja had sneaked up behind be and was peeing between my legs. While I was somewhat upset about this whole incident, I did have to admire his skill as he was peeing blind and showing impeccable aim and control not to get any pee on me or the floor. Feeling so proud of himself, he told his mother about what had happened. Hers was a typical mother response of disapproval to which he replied, "But Mom, I didn't get any pee on me." Way to put a positive spin on it Erick.

Story number two. This one again involves the bathroom ninja, but in a different setting. Erick's primary lesson last Sunday was on the Good Samaritan. The teacher posed the question, "What would you do if you saw someone beating up someone else?" Erick's response with little to no hesitation and a tremendous amount of seriousness was, "I would punch them in the wiener." While this would be an effective solution, it was probably not the one his teacher was looking for.

So there you have it, proof positive that Natalie and I are doing a great job of parenting. We have raised a stealth peeing wiener puncher. Please Erick, only use you powers for good! I can't imagine the damage you would do on the darkside.